Correspondence with Wakan Tanka / Elohim Yahweh
An answer to questions to Yahweh about the suicide of a friend.

March 1999

My dear Gerald,

You have been troubled again. The death of Wayne  has given you many unanswered questions. You have been looking at your own conduct with regard to that sad son of mine. Over and over again you have recalled the conversations you and he had. Over and over you wonder if you should have been more direct and offered him an alternate home at Friendly Forest. Would that have made a difference? Was he asking that of you when he told you that his wife was telling him that he should get room and board at Gerald's so she and the kids could move back into the ho use...

Let those questions roam around in your mind my son. Ponder them, but do not just let them be remembrances and regrets about the past. Consider them and ask if that is what I would have done. Would I have done something different than you? Perhaps that is not such a useful thing for you to consider. After all, I am Yahweh your God, and I did not prevent him from shooting himself. Perhaps you had better rephrase that question and ask if my Son would have done something different than you in that situation. My Son was a human person such as you are, and he probably had doubts too. Remember the story that his followers told about the death of Lazarus? They were upset that my Son had not come earlier and saved him from the experience of death.

Those are questions you will not have complete answers to in this life of yours. Your mind has enough things to deal with, God says, you do not need to fathom to those depths and consider a future that did not occur. Leave that kind of thinking to me. I can see things from an eternal perspective, and that gives me an advantage at that kind of thing, don't you think so?

Rather, I would have you consider what was in your heart, and then make a resolve that in any future situation you will share whatever love you have there according to whatever insights you have at that time. Yes, you will make mistakes, after all, you are a created human being, and you are not yet complete.

You have also asked yourself again what Waynes decision means in terms of my love for him. I am pleased that you ask, God says, for now I can let my Spirit bring you another insight into how I your God love all of you. Remember first and always Gerald that the life of my creatures is a part of my own life, and that it will never really end, though it may change. Remember this as you try to follow my instructions here. I can never abandon my own life. I can never abandon my own love, and I have never abandoned you friend Wayne, not even in his deepest sadness. I want you to consider this, my son Gerald; Wayne bore more sadness than he felt he could handle. While objectively that is not true, my love for him would have been enough, you humans do mistake things. When you are faced with trials you come to believe that you have more than you can bear.. that you have more than I can ask you to bear. and when your minds go on thinking like that, then your minds begin to think that I give you permission to claim dominion over the life I have given you, and return it to me before I have called you to come home. I know that this happens. As you humans bear such great suffering your minds do not work very well, and the sorrow and pain overwhelms what you knew very clearly at other times. I ask you once again to consider my Son. Do you remember the story about his suffering and death? Do you remember that he felt utterly abandoned in his sorrow. He even felt abandoned by me. If my Son Jesus could be so affected by his pain of body and spirit that he mistakenly thought I had abandoned him , is it so hard to understand how Wayne and others might be mistaken at times like that, and feel that they have more than they are able to bear.

I understand such suffering, God says. I am your God, and I understand such suffering. I do not let mistakes made during great suffering in any way affect my love for all of you. Be assured of that my son. My love never abandons you even if that is what you come to think from time to time.

I ask you to remember some other words of my Son Jesus. Recall when he spoke about the final judgement that you humans will face. He told you that I, the Father, will place my Son Jesus on the throne of Judgement, and that he will ask some questions of you. Do you remember the questions Gerald? Look again in Matthew 25. Remember that the questions that he will ask of you are how much of my love you shared with those with whom you shared this life in time on earth. Now consider the little you knew about your friend Wayne. Did he love those I placed in his life to love? Did he find within himself the capacity to love even though he knew so little love as a child? Did Wayne give of himself to those who were in need, even when he had so little himself? Of course he did. That was so much of who my beloved son Wayne was that no one can fail to see that in him. Well, what you saw in him as love shared was my life in him shared, and that life has returned to me and has been made full and complete and is glorious in the home I have prepared for him and for all of my children.

Look at what I have written to you here this day, and consider it carefully in prayer. Then you will not let those questions bother you. Rather you will understand a little better that nothing in this earth or beyond it is greater than the love I have for all of you. Rest easy in this love, as Wayne is resting in my love. And, God says, at the right time, consider sharing this with Wayne's wife and the children.

With all my love, I AM WHO AM



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